Doubt fueled parenting

Do you think all men are capable of being great Fathers?

Like any job, there’s a required skill set  The question is, does it come naturally or do we require development?

In terms of experience, I am well and truly a rookie. But with only two children and two and half years experience, I feel better place than many. I’ve been blessed with two great role models. The first is own father, a man seemingly without fault. The second, God. One, truly without fault.

Despite this, I’ve had moments, some as recently as this morning  where I doubt my ability to be a father. I know doubt is natural, but it still makes my stomach turn.

Fatherhood is hard enough, let alone with added stress.

dadMy Dad’s strength came from his marriage. Sure, my mother and him had fights, but they were always calm and rarely in front of us kids. When we squabbled  they were always on the same side, the same can be said of when discipline was dished out. They were a team.

Above all, we always felt loved. It wasn’t always physically shown or verbally expressed for that matter. It was however, always felt. I guess that’s the best illustration I can give of both, their parenting, and the power of love.

My point being, I’ve always believed my Dad was purposefully created to be a father. Myself, on the other hand … I’m not so sure.

Parenting will, no if’s or maybe’s, be stressful. You will worry and if you’re anything like me, you’ll doubt your own ability.

Take hold of this doubt and use it as your fuel, driving yourself to be the best parent possible.

You are not paid financially for it, but being a parent is a job. One you cannot quit, avoid or run away from. The question is, would you retain your role if you had to re apply?

Think about it. Your children could be on the selection panel. They’d scrutinise your every move  you character traits, the way you teach and, you guessed it, your discipline techniques. Are you the best role model for your children?

I love to say I’d be a shoe in to retain my role, but I’d be lying if I didn’t share my doubt.

If you too, are nervous about re applying for your role as a parent, take your doubt as a sign that you care. You understand the importance of your role and care deeply for how you do it. We all have faults and we will all make mistakes, but life, like parenting, is about how we use our strengths to recover and learn from our failures.

The re application process will take place at the end of the month. Treat every day until then like an interview, only the best will keep their jobs.

If you’re not a little nervous or have 100% confidence in your ability … please, share your secrets!

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Leave the pain behind you

Aside

It’s 6:30 in the morning, I’m changing my daughters nappy when she suddenly starts to whimper. Being a father besotted with love for his daughter, I immediately look for the cause of her pain.

Is the warm winter sun shining through the window, too bright for her eyes? Maybe, she is that desperate to go to the park by_next door that she’s reduced to tears.

It’s then I see the cause…I can’t help but laugh when she points at a tiny graze on her knee (caused by falling over a week ago).

“saw nee, saw nee” she cries.

At that moment the graze was my daughters greatest concern. It stole her attention from her loving father, warm sunshine, last night’s sleep and the roof over her head.

How can she worry about a scratch when she is obviously blessed? Look up darling, look what surrounds you. You are surrounded by love yet you look down. Forget about the scars of yesterday, they cannot harm you. Look up in gratitude not down in despair.

Instead, I took her tiny leg in my hand and kissed it better (Caution, do not attempt to replace medical treatment with the “kissing it better” method).

My daughter is not yet two years old, so I’ll cut her some slack but we should know better. Do not let the pain of your past stop you from realising the beauty that’s all around!

What graze are you crying about in life?